Personally, I think someone who listens is sexy. There's nothing like seeing a person you think is extraordinary, beautiful, wondrous to behold. And then.. they start talking. And it becomes pretty obvious pretty soon that your function is to nod, listen, look interested and ask questions. There's nothing sexy about wanting to get away from someone.
On the other hand, you might have seen someone who was enraptured. There are songs written about this state of being: "Can't take my eyes off of you."
"You put a spell on me."
Every performer has this goal. To hypnotize listeners. To take them some place. To lift them out of whatever mood they were in before they entered the room.
Some people want to bring everyone together.
This can be awkward. You're asked to "Join in at the chorus! Come on now! It's easy to remember!" But you feel cajoled and guilted into that, and uncomfortable. Doing something your mother told you to do. Being good. Publicly.
My most intimate experiences in a listening room don't involve the rest of the crowd. I might be in a fantasy world, but I feel that whoever is singing is doing this just for me. I might as well have hired my own booth. It's my peep show. I am climbing into someone's heart and I feel giddy, excited, nervous, not knowing what is going to come next.
A great performer seduces me. I might as well be in my nighty. I have no sense of time. I don't want the moment to end. I am suspended, feather-light, desired, seen, available to feel. I am in the dark but feel full of light. I'm in my body yet floating above it all. I am fully alive, yet I feel I might have passed on, into another plane.
I might not be in 2024. I might be a child. I might be 21 years old. I might be the most beautiful woman in the world. This is how the performance makes me feel.
I am not sure how this transformation happens. All I know is that when the show is over, I feel like I want it to begin again.
Most people who follow performers they love can't get enough. And I think it has to do with this mysterious sex they experience. It's so personal and so profound, yet it remains impossible to put into words.
This is the magic of intimacy on the stage. I have been on both sides.
When performing, I go somewhere. I am not sure how I travel, and not in control of what I say or how the event unfolds.
What I feel is the great surrender.
This of course involves both, and the right space and sound.
But when it happens there are only five words to express it all: "YOU HAD TO BE THERE."
How human. How real. How delicious.
As for shows, this is enough to keep you coming.
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